And if I can’t really think of anything, then I can always call your mom or sister or best friend and ask if they have any suggestions for things you really need. If I happen to choose something that you don’t particularly like, that’s how it goes, I’m afraid.
On the plus side, you’ll have a great conversation starter. Every time you take out this hand painted tray with a beagle in a costume wearing sunglasses which are unmistakably gruesome but also a very convenient size, so you use it quite often you can roll your eyes and say, “Kitty Flanagan gave us that, apparently she’s got a weird thing with gift lists, I don’t even know why we invited her to the wedding, she must have been on the second or third round of invitations. “
I think the gift registers also steal a good time from you when you open your gifts.
Opening registry gifts has all the excitement of unpacking a box of dishes when you are moving. How much more fun would it be not to know what you were going to get.
You and your new husband or wife can spend the day unwrapping gifts by playing “Guess Who Gave Us This?” It’s a simple game that is played by opening the gift first and the card second, it’s a great way to find out who knows your friends and family best.
After that, you will have more good times writing thank you cards. The trick is to try and sound authentic when you say things like, “Dear cousin Layla, thank you so much for the benchtop roasting oven. It’s going to be so convenient that Jim has always dreamed of running a barbecue chicken franchise from our living room! At the moment it has pride of place, taking up most of the kitchen bench, but we have a carpenter arriving early Monday to build us a special cabinet to welcome it. Thanks again !”
I understand that my idea of abolishing gift registries is not the most appropriate proposition for a newly engaged same-sex couple.
Those who have spent decades dutifully buying registry gifts for straight friends’ marriages might be forgiven for wanting to write one of these Veruca-Salt wishlists for themselves.
To that end, I would like to extend my sincere congratulations to any gay couple who are getting married tomorrow or in the near future and say that if you are willing to join us and skip the gift list, I will make sure that you are rewarded. with one of these fabulous hand painted platters featuring a beagle in costume wearing sunglasses.
Kitty Flanagan is on tour with her new show Smashing. Go to kittyflanagan.com for all the details of the visit